A jacked plush astronaut with more vein per square inch than NASA ever signed off on. $ROIDS is the cosmic supplement protocol for dogs who refuse to atrophy in zero-G.
Veins reroute for maximum flex geometry. Cosmetic only. Mostly.
48H onsetForearms enter their own low Earth orbit. Gravity negotiates.
ContinuousHUD overlays every heavy object with a suggested rep count.
UnprescribableMeasured in kg, laughed at in MOG. Bag grows or gym closes.
T+24 months
FLEX
#001 · Bicep sovereign
LIFT
#002 · Rock architect
CURL
#003 · Concentration god
SPARTA
#004 · Phalanx commander
Recovered from a lab station in the Kuiper belt. Subject is a Shiba Inu plush toy, unlicensed astronaut, and reluctant bicep evangelist. Patch on chest reads ROIDS. Gold visor logs every rep. Nobody issued him the rock — he bench-pressed one out of a passing asteroid.
Never skip leg day. Especially in zero-G — the floor isn't optional, it's just somewhere else.
Buy, seed the rack, forget the chart for 24 hours. Come back with more meat on the bones.
No rugs, no farms, no pointless roadmaps painted on the ceiling of a deload week.
Contract: _________________________ (dropped after the first set).
If the candle dips, add iron. If it pumps, add iron. The plan is iron.
Token launches on a Solana launchpad. Site is live, X and TG are live, rack is open. Contract drops when the bar is racked.